“I’ve done more harm by the falseness of trying to please than by the honesty of trying to hurt.”
July 1902 – February 1984
I struggled for years over the conflict of telling a friend the truth, knowing they would be hurt by it or not saying anything to spare their feelings.
In some ways I think I still struggle with what is it right. If you know something that will be hurtful and you don’t tell your friends or family, does that make you a part of the bad news? What if they find out you knew all the time and never said anything?
It is really difficult to try and figure what the right tactic might. What I have relied on in the past is to tell what I know if I believe the information will turn out to be harmful if they were to find out on their own and then find out that everyone else knew but didn’t tell them.
But where do I draw the line in the sand? Is having an affair an absolute tell? I think so. Is bad mouthing? Probably not. But it has inspired me to have an in depth conversation with the one who has been disrespectful of their mate.
I don’t think there are absolute rules, but try to imagine how you would feel if the situation were reversed.