“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual. ”
When I was in my 20’s and I got angry I would clam up. I wouldn’t talk to anyone. In fact the person I was mad at rarely knew I was mad at them.
Then in my 30’s my husband actually put a hand on each side of me and said he wouldn’t let me go until I told him what I was mad about. He made me talk. He never let me get away with my by habit of passive aggressive behavior.
It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s I learned to process emotions without having to make someone else wrong.
When I got angry about something I simply told the person “I didn’t like . . .” or “I got angry when . . .” without making them responsible for what had happened.
What I realized was my point of reference was strictly mine. Unless I told them what made me angry they would have no idea. Everyone has a different point of reference and it’s only fair to communicate what is wrong rather than assume they would know.