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Equal to Boys

  • Posted on February 2, 1999 at 5:41 am

I thought that the chief thing to be done in order to equal boys was to be learned and courageous. So I decided to study Greek and learn to manage a horse.

– Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 – 1902)

American Suffragist

I remember watching as the boys lifted one leg, placed their foot on the rung of the fence and leaned forward which resting their elbows on their thighs. It was at that moment, during my freshman year of high school I recognized the enviable differences between the boys and girls. They were confident, could go anywhere, say what was on their mind, be leaders, make other”s laugh and even eat whatever and as much as they wanted.

It seemed truly a man’s world. I often resented being a girl, having to have so many say and do things for my protection. I didn’t want to be protected, I wanted to experience life uninhibited, just like the boys.

I was more fortunate than most of the girls I grew up with. I did go to college, I moved away from home and even lived in Hawaii. I learned to ride a motorcycle, drive a race car, fly a plane and even have had mostly male friends. I played in their world feeling like I had accomplished something special. I managed to hang on to my feminine ways as well.

I didn’t have to give up anything, except having children of my own.

Being a Gender

  • Posted on October 17, 1993 at 1:46 am

“As far as I’m concerned, being any gender is a drag.”

Patti Smith (1943) American Singer

I watch as he raised his left foot. He placed it on the bumper of his ’49 Ford truck. They were talking about Saturday’s football game. I knew than, but I couldn’t hear the words. What they were saying wasn’t important. It was how they were talking together. They were so comfortable, they laughed, and at the moment, they had nothing in the world to worry about except the game coming up the next weekend.

It was at that precise moment I rec all, I was aware of my envy of boys, which a few years later became an awareness I was jealous of men in general. They could go anywhere, say anything, do anything and they were always excused, when doing something irregular, as “boys will be boys!”

The only thing I did not envy was their mandatory role in Viet Nam. ForĀ  25 years I resented men’s carefree ways, always seeming to adapt well, their confidence and their level of poise . . .

Then one day, two years ago, I realized men looked at me the way I had been looking at them! Somehow I had transformed! I am confident, I have poise and a sense of humor. Others look to me for direction, both men and women.

I finally see people instead of gender. I see achievers, those with direction and positive attitudes,t hose with spiritual consciousness.

How I love this new awareness.